Saturday, 7 February 2009

Best friend's hidden feelings...

I thought he was different from the guys I used to love... I thought he understand my feelings, but in the end he was no different. I was breaking in front of him and he still could not see it. Could not see how he had crushed my heart......


I'm not bragging or anything but I am one of the best students in my school... And he was one of the worst...


He came to me and asked for my help with his study, so I agreed just like I agreed to help my other friends with their studies.. Throughout our study sessions, we had grown closer and became good friends... His company made me feel so contented, because he was so sincere and so eager to study, something I rarely see in other guys...


He turned to me for comfort when his other guy friends isolated him, he told me almost everything that he felt about it..How much did it hurt him, how much he wanted to be appreciated by the other guys.. I was the one who was there every time he was down, I went to the trouble of staying up to finish my assignments just to spend time to give him one-on-one tutor, I was the one who cared for him when he was sick (since we live in hostels), I did just about anything just for him....


And from just enough marks to pass each test, on one of the national exams both he and I passed with top grades, and we both continued our study in the same school.. That was when everything went haywire...


We both applied for better schools with our results, and in the meantime we undergone a special program as a preparation...


I really loved him with all my heart and will give just about anything to be with him, when one day he came and seek my comfort after knowing the girl he LOVE is staying and they soon they will be parted... I was so devastated when I heard that piece of news, and slowly we grew far apart from each other....


He no longer visits me frequently in my class, as he spent the remaining time with the girl he loves before he leaves... He couldn't even see the pain i felt every time he cut short our chat just to meet her... He no longer see my concern and encouragement for him, he just noticed her tease and laughs..


He no longer care whether I'm sad or happy, all that matters to him was her..To him, I'm his best friend. To me, he's my deadliest enemy....


The day before all of us will be separated...


Even when he said he will be coming to my class that night after he spent the whole evening with her, he went to her class for the first 2 hours and only came for the last thirty minutes to come to see me to say goodbye.. and from the last thirty minutes, he spent only ten actual minutes talking to me..the rest are just coming back and forth to her class... I didn't cry before that, I cried when he said that he wanted to meet her but still he couldn't see what I'm trying to tell him... He came back to me crying for having to be separated from her, I cried harder seeing his tears yet he was still blind on just how much I love him...


The actual last day, he didn't come over to my class at all...I was so in despair since both he and I live in two different states, yet he could still find the time to spend with her when they both live in the same area... He dedicated a love song to me, only because he liked the lyrics and not because it mean anything to both of us...


And the worst part is, I could not hate him even a little... I was a fool for falling for him in the first place....

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