My life lesson from one relationship

The spring of 2005 i met a boy everyone called E.A [initials] we spent everyday and night together, we got along perfectly my family loved him, his family loved me in the beginning everything was perfect. I thought he was amazing, I've always been a sucker for the old fashion type guys, where they open your car door and pull out your chair and all that kinda stuff and i haven't met a lot of guys like that but he was one of few. for the first...I'd say 6-8 months things were great, at least i thought then on our one year anniversary he was no where to be found. I was so upset I didn't even try to call him. The next day he showed up at my house around nine in the morning with roses and a ring, he handed them to me and i just glared at him. By this time the excitement of a "new relationship" was gone so his true person had came out, no more nice guy just a all out jerk. So when he handed them to me and he didn't get a hug or a thank you just a glare he decided to smack me, I fell into the door and he just walked past me went in my house and made himself comfortable. I got up and walked in crying, it was the first time he had ever done anything like that. That wasn't the first sign to leave him but it was the biggest reason to leave. But i was dumb, I was like many of the girls i knew, i catered to everything he wanted treated him like gold. And i still dont know why. Everybody knew about us and we both put on a act for everybody and wouldn't show people how things really were. I never asked where he was on our anniversary I knew it would be a lie anyways. Then a few weeks later i started noticing how him and my best friend acted towards each other I had always suspected something but I just didn't want to believe it. I found out a few weeks later on our one year he spent the day with my best friend and he had been cheating on me with her for queit awhile. I stupidly took him back. We ended up being together for 2 years and 10 months. Within that time he had cheated on me with every single one of my "so called" friends, beat me, controlled everything about me. But i let him do it i never told anybody just faked a smile and let things go. And i was to scared of him to say anything. Finally 4 days before we broke up he told me to come over when i got off work, I got off early and went over there, I walked in to find him and some girl i had never seen naked in bed with each other. I started screaming at him saying everything i had ever thought, best and worst thing i have ever done. The girl left in the mix of everything and he started pushing me and yelling then he hit me i woke up a day later in critical care. The only one that was by my side was my mom, my brothers and sisters had been there but my mom sent them home, the doctors didn't think i was gonna make it and my younger sister couldn't handle it so my mom sent everybody home to watch after her.I woke up with 27 stiches in my head 4 stiches along my eye brow and 3 broken ribs and a concusion. My mom was so upset and thats my biggest regret , not telling her before it was almost to late. When i finally got released I went home and explained everything we decided not to let peolple know i was home because he would try to come back . cops came and asked if i wanted to press charges, i said no because i was to scared. My brothers went over and told him not to show up again and not to even look at me . He didn't listen he came over when no one was home and told me if i tell anyone or decide to quit talking to him he'd kill me. I told my oldest brother about this and he went over there he still has never told me what was said but whatever it was, worked. I still see him every now and then and i will never understand why i put up with him. I haven't seen him in about 3 months at all. I hear hes in and out of lock up heavy on drugs and i guess he goes to donate blood 2 times a week for money. Its crazy how a person can not only control what you do but also how you think. For some odd reason I thought i was in love. How you confuse love and hell is beyond me but I did it. I sit and wonder how my life would be if i would have stuck with him, but all honesty i most likely wouldnt have lived to tell. It's amazing how the person of your dreams, so perfect in everyway can turn into everything you hate and at the same time make you feel like your in love. This relationship taught me a lot but the biggest thing it taught me was never ignore things because the longer they go unoticed the worse they will get. And to never settle for less. 

Few Relationships

Let's start with me in the 7th grade... well... yeah, I was ALWAYS on the short side... Not to short, but enough that my Friends could look down at me and giggle a tiny bit on the inside. all of my boyfreinds have been taller than me. One of my early boyfreinds was named Tim (no last names or anything). He had been in my classes over and over again, but we never really bothered to talk... even on the bus ride. So one day he sat across from me and the bus ride was loud. Kids yellin' and laughing everywhere. I was turned in my seat and talked to my friend behind of my seat. Out of the corner of my eye i began to relize that Tim was STARING at me... it kinds creeped me out a bit.... then finally he got enough guts to say something and he began talking to me. I noticed not only his cute looks, but also his good personality. I instantly gave in to that 8] . After a good while he began sitting with me and we talked ALOT. Soon enough we went to a two night Camp for a school feild trip. I was pretty pumped, understandable rigtht? So we got at the camp. Only took two busses to get our whole grade there (small huh?) and Tim happened to not be on my bus... so we all unloaded and Tim instantly located me from afar and i was pretty nervouse by then. So we all got into our seperate girl cabins that was inside some weird 'stockade' like structure... the boys had only two cabins outside of the Girl stockade  haha. so we all settles down and everyone gathered outside of the cabins and into the middle of the large campfire spot (right in the middle of the Stockade.) the man told us our groups for all the activities and we all got our small teams and 'chaperones' together. Tim, by pure luck and chance, was in my group. but so was a few other girls that HAD to be pretty XP... eh... so  wasnt that confident but i had my best friend 8] so i was okay. Well we went through a few dumb activities and then went outside for some funner ones. first was the 'Spider Web'.... each string hole that was webbed between teh two trees was to be only passed through twice at most... so everyone that couldn't be lifted went through the ones on the bottom... me,  unfortunately having a fast matabalism and being skinny as a stick, well.... was chosen to be lifted... haha so  i kinda stood off the the side as people dove through teh holes and tried to be all cool about it. it was pretty funny to watch... all of a sudden i felt someone scoop me up and carry me towards the 'web'. 'what the-' i stammered. looking up i saw Tim smiling and easily carrrieing me over 'PUT ME DOWN!' i yelled and struggled (no match for him)  he just laughed at the poor attempt and passed me through the web... dang him...               So afterwards we moved onto the next activity… the ‘lava pit’… woooow. It was kinda fun actually though… so we all stood behind a line that was made into the ground. A good (but not that long at all) distance rested between us and a small wooden platform across a small open pit. A rope hung in the middle (not touching the ground) between us (behind the line) and the small platform. The objective: get everyone one the small platform. Startover if anyone touches the ground… Tch, figures… so we attempted a few times and every girl kept on falling. Me? I was awesome at it 8] I swung across and landed perfectly, smack dab, centered, on the wood platform. Most of the guys could do it but Tim was the best and strongest.We ended up starting over AGAIN because my friend fell. Haha. So we all agreed to have tim wait on the other side to catch everybody because of his abnormally strength haha. So he went. Then people, agreeing I was the best swinger, had me go next. So I held the rope and I was about to go when my friend pushed me. I swore. A tad to loud, but nothing bad. I swung off course and everyone gave my friend a small glare and laughed a bit. There was a tiny stump that didn’t even have a foot perimeter around it next to the small box tim waited on. Tim saw my direction and reached out to my rope. I was about to start to go backwards when tim threw a hand around my waist and I I landed on my tip-toes on the small stump. Perfectly. Everyone cheered and people flew over to join our small group. Nice huh?After a few more small touching moments, people were begging us to go out. So we did 8].  Three months passed.. he broke-up with me after he asked out another girl (my best friend) and she turned him down and told me. He treid desperately to get back with me using the word phrase ‘I love you’ to vonvince me…. Bu thtats happened to me before… so I said NO.   8th grade came and Tim left our school. No problem for me… ha, so one of my really good friend Justin (I was really good friends with almost all of the guys in our small school… not caring for the popular ones much) and I was really excited… his party was from 12 PM to 9pm… all his parties were fun. Justin’s parties are the fun ones that don’t include beer, alcholhol, or drugs. But consisted more of tons of pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, candy, man-hunt, tag, red-rover, football, and all those fun outdoor things. We were planning on having an awesome time, even if it ment acting like little kids haha. So  I was a bit late and came to the party around 2 PM (even though I still had about 7 hours left haha) and I pulled up the driveway. I had my long dark brown hair  past my shoulders and side bangs. I was always considered ‘adorable’ and ‘cute-faced’ with my small structure but I can run like beast 8] . as always though I stood out with my clothing choice… my skinny jeans, black tee-shirt with an odd silver design on it, and a stud belt slung to my hips. I wore worn out Etnies that kinda went along with the outfit. I never wear make-up and I don’t care. So… yea all my friends never cared for my clothing choice and treat me the same. I step out of the car, saying bye to my dad and watch him pull out. “JUSTIN!” I yell and death hug the kid who’s about a foot taller than me (and everyone else at the party ha) he hugs me back and tells me my best friend is inside. I thank him and see about six kids sitting on the lawn. There was two guys I knew from my school (not good friends with) one random boy. Another boy who looked positively HOT with long brown straight hair and a skinny body, and a girl with black hair and heavy make-up giving me an awkward non-happy look… ‘oookay….” I mumbled as I saw the really cute guy watch me all the way from the spacey lawn into the house. “ MICAELA!” I squeal diving at her. we giggle and talk for  a bit. There was a total of 5 more guys in the room all cheering on Sam (my best guy friend) and Kevin (another guy I snowboard with.) as they play guitar hero. I sit next to Trevor and micaela and we all laugh and talk. All of a sudden Trevor gets up to try guitar hero and Justin walks in. a few more people form the outside lawn trail in behind him and it gets louder in the small crowded living room. I see the really cute guy watch me as I pretend not to see him (even though he was a yard stick away) … Me, micaela, and that other girl giving me looks were the only girls at the party… (…yay?) so then the guys start yelling and fighting over the guitar hero controller… “ugh” I sigh  “ everybody just SHUT IT!” I yell… and to my surprise everybody does and they laugh. All of a sudden a hand appears in my face I look up to see the hot guy (who looked around the age of 16 )  smiling down at me “high-five!” he said. I laughed and high fived the gorgeous child and he laughed to and jumped onto the couch… ON TOP OF ME. So I scoot over a tad bit, giving us both room… even though he was still half on top of me… so then he reaches out and loops his fingers around my bony ankle. “holy CRAP! Your are effin’ skinny!” he laughed and I awkwardly laugh…. A bit oddddd
d…. So I jump up as an excuse and scream “TRAMPOLENE!!!” and me and Micalea book it out the door as everyone laughs. Soon enough me and micaela and my guy friend (Sam) are jumpin away and other guys are passing the soccerball. Sam jusmps off to join them and me and micaela continue, laughing and being ridiculous. Then Jack hangs around it and stars talking a TON to us. We laughed and it was fun. I saw some weird object in the grass in the backyard (where the trampoline was) and I jumped off and grabbed it. I pretended to be all ninja, swinging the whip like object around and hitting the house ( random… hmm…) so then I see Justin climb onto the trampoline and lay there… yea hes a tad lazy… Nathan and sam with micalea all just sit there and start to talk. Then I hear someone behind me. So I jump around and see the REALLY hot guy (namez Jack) standing there with a METAL POLE. ‘fight me.” He smiled and I was like “HELL NO” and he swung at my feet (which I skillfully evaded with a jump haha 8] ) “are you Crazy?!” I huffed at him. Which made him smile more. And he jabbed at me, I jumped to the side. Then he walked up to me and held the bar horizontally with both hands, almost separating us. I tried to back up but he kept on walking and he was too close for me to use my ‘weapon of choice’ so I had to drop it and grab his, the same way he was holding it. We both pushed and he breathed right in my face, close to laughing. I wasn’t so happy about that so I pushed harder. But hten he shifted the bar’s poition and his weight forward to I slipped back and lost my balance. In a flash he dropped the bar and scooped me up, throwing me over his shoulders. “CHEATER!!!” I yelled and tried to squirm away… no use. He laughed and put me on the trampoline and I stood on justins back, balancing my self. “here” jack said offering his hand when I kept falling off. So I slowly held his hands and balanced for a bit. Everyone laughed as Justin made… awkward would be the right word choice… noises haha. But then Jack began to slowly pull on my hands… I knew what he was trieing to do.. he shifted his body weight backwards and PRETENDED to FALL BACK!  Bringing me along with him! It was so OBVIOUSE he pretended but not seemed to notice how fake it was! I fell on top of him and he laughed and held me there for a while… I was like “EHHH” in my mind haha.   After it turned 9 PM and by hten he had made soooo many sexy moves that we had already made-out... never saw him again… hahahahaha that was PRETTY BAD if you ask me… woow..

Painful One-Sided Love

Before I tell you my love story, first I have to tell you a fact about my religion. It is said that if you married someone with the same last name as yours, no matter if your related or not, as long as your last names are the same it would be considered as taboo. I knew that and yet I wasn't able to control my feelings when I fell in love with him. It was really hard because I believed that we'll never be able to be together or he will never accept me since we had the same last names. One of his his best friend confesses his love towards me and I refused just because I have already fallen in love with his closes friend. It was a coincidence when he and I both signed up for a field trip and ended up sitting side by side. To me it was a dream come true, we talked and little did I know I was fallen in love deeper with him. Somehow all of a sudden he confesses to me that he too have fallen for me, this just seemed all to have been a dream too real to be true. But it was reality and as time passes our relationship grew stronger. I was aware that our relationship wasn't going to last long so I tried my best to do everything I could before it was too late. On end of the day of a friend's farewell party he told me that it wasn't right for us to continue anymore. At first no tears came but as he walked away from me, my eyes was streaming with many tears that he wasn't able to see any of it at all. Until now I learned that he probably never loved me yet I didn't regret dating him because I didn't want all those memories that we both shared to be painful memories being kept. Still I'm not ready to have him around me acting as if we don't know each other, so I have decided to run away as far as I can to see if those feelings will disappear. Maybe they won't but at least, I gave it a try, it won't be a pain to try without not trying at all. I'll cry beneath the moon the stars but never will you see my tears at all. A part of me is gone now my only option is to search for my other half again.

Waiting for God's Provision

My name is Camille I am 21 I can say I have the patience to wait for someone I really love. It started when I was 13 year old I met a guy named Lynus and he is my classmate in vocational class "Bible Study" when I first saw him I laid my eyes on him. Their is something in him that I really wanted to know. His kind of mysterious thingee guy his skinny tall guy a simple one but the aura was kind a great most of the girls in our church has a crush on him. Well he is good looking as well like a heartthrob ehehehee.. 

We spent the whole summer together as a classmate and after the summer we went back to school for a new high school life. We got busy and my whole life change when I enter my high school days.. I never went back to the church for almost four years because I got traumatic experience with my personality "My DAD rejected me!" well I'm a unwanted baby that's why when I'm in high school I tried to seek for my fathers identity.. and that's what's happen.. Anyways... back to the story. ehehehee.. 

When I left the church Lynus had his on life  and I didn't know that he began to fall in love to Fides one of the new gal in the church I met her before I left to church.. Then they began their love story when the elders try to tease them and thought that they're meant for each other and Lynus began to falling in love with Fides.. 

After four years I went back to the church that was year of 2005 month of May. Lynus is the one who welcomed me back and greeted me. I was so shock at first cause he don't remember me. ahahahahha... Then we began to known each other I became active to church again and participate to a lot of activities we have. Then everything goes well. Lynus and I became a good friends and texting each other we have this understanding and feelings for each other. Like mutual understanding it's like were having a relationship but there's no commitment on it and anytime it will end so most of the time I enjoy every single moments we have.I felt

like I was in a fairy tale hoping it would never end. 

Then one night he confess to me that he still pursuing his love for Fides and I was so hurt by that confession. Were just playing a game a game that Lynus is waiting for Fides and I waiting for him. It's really hurt whenever he confess what he really feels about Fides and he told me that Fides have a boyfriend and still he loves him so I got hurt, badly hurt so I turn back a little I step back in his life and I try my best to be brave on what happened we lost communication for a month. He became the president of the Youth and got busy. 

Year ending of Lynus presidency we got in touch again and talk about us.. He confess that Fides choose his boyfriend and let go of him I told him it's okay I know he's hurt and I comforted him. After a month he became tough person I know.. He changed a bit specially to other youth most of the time he don't mingle with us and now he does.

Most of the people who knows our story says that we will end up together as a couple. As of now I can feel he want's me back the way we were before.. But we entrust everything to the Lord for the future. 

Right now he is graduating and waiting for the right time to settle and as for me now busy in work and vice-president of youth I do teaching in St. Francis Square as voice coach and at the same time National youth treasurer.

Both of us waiting for the Provision of God... 

Thanks for Reading.. Hope to Inspire you..

Our Story

Just another normal day. I woke up, went to school, did homework, went home, cooked for my sister, went online. And ugh, that bitch at school. I remember when we were best friends. But she ruined it just because her boyfriend had a crush on me. One thing different - I had a friend request from one of the hottest guys in school! Who wouldn`t accept?! I talked to him. We talked and talked about the most random things. He`s actually a pretty nice guy. At school the next day, I saw him. I smiled at him and couldn`t help but blush… Wait.. Blush?! That`s so unlike me. What was wrong with me? Maybe it was just too hot. Yet again… When is it ever hot here?

Halloween! I stayed out almost the whole night. When I got home, guess who`s online? We talked for a while and unexpectedly, he asked me out. I was shocked, surprised, confused, is it really him? He`s hot! Of course I said yes! After I said yes, I thought to myself, “oh no..” I completely forgot that biatch`s best friend has a crush on him. That will cause more problems considering she went out with my crush last year…

Yeup.. I was right.. But spit on my locker?! That`s just low! When I got home to talk to him, he seemed worried. I guess he knew something would happen. That made me happy. We talked and talked for hours online then on the phone. He would call me in the morning to wake me up. Everytime I was unhappy, it seemed he could tell from the way I said “hi.” Our life story is way too alike, it seems lik he understands everything. The things he tells me, the song he wrote for me.. Things I`ll never forget. “143 637″

Today was my best friend`s boyfriend`s birthday. We had a bonfire at the beach. It was freezing cold even though it was so hot in the afternoon, I had a waterfight. Which of course, made me more cold. I met him up a few hours later, coincidentally at the bus stop. We went together to the beach. He still had some cake on his shirt from lunch and I was still wet, but he still hugged me, knowing I was cold without me saying a word. He made smores for me and hugged me almost the whole time. I kissed him on the cheek. He seemed.. Surprised. I was dissapointed when he didn`t kiss me back. But he kissed me before I left, I smiled like an idiot all the way home.

We went on this way only a few weeks, I became self-conscious. What`s up with his Myspace playlist?! “Say Goodbye,” “Who`s Loving Her Now,” “Missing You.” And why is he always around his ex?! I was in too much of a bad mood to talk to him. But does he even care? He talked to me about it.. And I broke down. We argued for a while. He said he couldn`t take it anymore.. We broke up. I told him I was going to take a shower. But I didn`t have the strength to walk all the way to the shower, I broke down on the bathroom floor crying like an idiot for an hour until I gathered up enough strength to walk to the shower, still crying. The mood I was feeling was “Cry - Rihanna” because every word in it described my feelings at that moment.

When I finally got myself together, I came back out.  He left messages, telling me he wants to talk to me, he wants me back. I started to cry again. Why is he doing this to me?! We talked again, he said he wants me back.. But I was scared.. What will happen next time? Will it hurt even more? But hearing all the things he said, I couldn`t help it. I let him back in.

We were happy again. The first day wasn`t the same, but we got ourselves back together. I felt something so strong, I guess I had to call it love. It was just like before, like nothing has changed. Only the feelings have gotten stronger and stronger. This is really the first time I didn`t lose interest in my boyfriend and actually gained interest. Our first date, to the movies. It was a scary movie. However, with him it was actually funny. Probably because of his random outbursts and making fun of me while I got scared when he would get scared too.

Wow. I really suck at making stuffed animals. The duck I made in Home Ec.`s head seemed to be dislocated. When he saw it, of course he made fun of me. But he kept it anyways. That night, he told me he put it on top of his drawer. It felt like every little thing he said to me made me like him more.

Our one month anniversary!!! I was so excited. We tried to decide on a place to go, but it somehow seemed like he didn`t want to.. He said, “let`s just stay home.” I waited for him to go online that day, he didn`t until nighttime. I asked him about his day and he said he went out.. Should I be angry? I didn`t say anything about it.. It seems his friend, Ryan has been hanging around me more and more. It`s pretty obvious when he falls for a girl and I`m pretty sure he`s fallen for me. He just won`t stop following me! What`s wrong with him? While Ryan seems to be getting closer and closer to me, it seems he`s getting farther and farther… I can tell he`s getting jealous but… Why isn`t he doing anything? Whenever I tried to talk to him online, he signed off right away. When I call him, he didn`t pick up. I never see him at school or afterschool.

I was walking to my class when I saw him. He hugged me, then kissed me. I knew something was different with that kiss. Two days later, we officially broke up. I didn`t cry. I guess I saw it coming. Or I`ve already cried too much. The day after we broke up, our friend, Genifer, told me he`s always been a player and has liked another girl since sixth grade. He saw the conversation and was furiated.
Why would you even believe her?!
Who said I believe her?!
I just know you would believe that kinda shit.
Wtf does it matter anyway?
…..

We said we`d be friends, but it feels more like enemies. After the enemy stage, we were more like strangers. Of course I still had feelings for him, but I knew another talk would just turn out to be another fight. One day, he suddenly IMed me. He told me he went for a hospital check-up. He has cancer. I couldn`t stop crying. I told my best friends but they didn`t know how to help me. I didn`t figure out until later that I was the only one he told. A few days later, he went to the hospital for another check-up. It turned out it was an accident.. A month later, we talked again. I was about to tell him how I feel because I really can`t take it anymore. Also.. If I don`t say it now I may never have a chance, my mom told me we`re moving to Hong Kong. But he told me he fell in love with a girl named Selina. I couldn`t do anything but help him out.

I DO love him (quite a long story)

Before I start, of course I'll introduce myself. My name's Juno Valentine. Hey. This story that I'm about to share to you is what I'm experiencing right now. So, here it goes...

During my first year of college, my mom requested me to transfer schools to her hometown which was a 3-hour drive from our home. It was a city to be exact. When I got there, I feel a little bit uneasy at first, because of the living they have there (I used to live in a province so I didn't know that what they do is normal). At first, it's difficult for me to cope up with them. I didn't even know how to cross the street which was kinda pathetic for my age. And there's also school, of course.

During my first day of classes, I was really nervous because I'm like a stranger to my new classmates. I mean, I've never knew anyone there, which was a sad thing. And to add more nervousness, I'm having a hard time talking to someone because I know in myself that I'm not a sociable type-of-girl (I don't even know how to smile properly!). It really sucked. But, as time passes, eventually I DID fit in which was kinda awesome in my part. I met all sorts of people including teachers whom I 'm friends with, and of course my friends whom I did rely on at times.

As part of being a collegiate student surrounded by temptations, I did have some sort of "addiction". My friends introduced me to "online computer games" which I thought was cool (Yeah, kinda awesome). I was interested in it when I saw one of my classmates playing it (my classmate's name is Janus). And then eventually I became more and more into it which developed me a new skill, "socializing" (yeah). Playing computer games everyday was fun, really, because we're all doing it! (he, he).

I've also met this guy who was always greeting me, saying things like "hello Ms. Juno" and "Goodmorning" whenever he sees me everyday. I really like it, how he treats me (he's name's Phobos). Eventually we did became friends and he courted me...but in the end, it didn't work out. Though I did have feelings for him. Strong feelings, I guess.

And then, there's the rumor...

A rumor started swirling around our department that one of my classmates (he's name is Charon) liked me, not as a friend but as "like more than friends" or something like that. To me, it's not a big deal 'coz it's just a rumor, I didn't even have the time to figure if it's real or not. Though it was kinda a hard time for me 'coz it seems to be true. (sh*t) In my part, I don't want to have any part of it. I mean, I just broke up with my boyfriend whom I caught cheating on me! How was I going to cope up with that!? But...I do like someone at that time, though it was not more than as a friend... (he's name's Europa).

Europa and I became BF-GF when he courted me and when I thought everything's doing good--NO, it's not. During our summer vacation, I found out everything about him--awful things about him. Including he's other girlfriend which was a really sucking thing to know. Of course, I broke up with him. At that time, all I did was play online games til I faint (actually it was true, I did faint. But just one time). I was damn miserable. But after our summer break ended, school's about to start again...

At that point, I did NOT had a hard time socializing with others because I already knew them! (yay!). But...I seem to kinda notice this particular guy...

My classmate Janus!

All I know at that time was, Janus is the type of person who doesn't really socialize and mingle with other people. He sort of likes to keep things to himself though he was quite a joker at times. I really like guys with a LOT of sense of humor because I like to laugh-out-loud! I was really happy that even though my love life turned upside down, at least I can laugh at his jokes. But I was confused. I mean, why did I suddenly notice him? Was it because of he's jokes? Or something else? Well, I did got an answer to that during my birthday...

My birthday came and I had this sort of feeling that I have a thing for Janus. It was so frustrating for me. I...I can't fall in love with him! No, no, no. He's prohibited! He's Charon and Europa's friend and I didn't want to ruin their friendship just because of my "love-struck" feelings! And..he doesn't to like girls that much. Then, I came to a decision that I will just stay away from him. But the more I avoid him, the more I was getting drawn into him! (OMG!). I can't seem to stay away from him. We even ended up texting each other. As I was drawn into him day by day, I finally snapped and sort of confessed my feelings to him. I did not expect any replies from him though I did get my reply. The next day, I noticed that he was always looking at me and we were getting closer and closer (Whoa). At that time, he also confessed to me that he also likes me and we became BF-GF.

After a few moths of having our relationship, we became more and more in love with each other until we're inseparable. Though we did always argue about something shallow or arguing over jealousy or something like that. Though we forget about it and make up the next day.

But now...I don't know what to do anymore, he's becoming more and more argumentative and insensitive. I did try to tell him about it but he just got mad at me and told me I was just over-reacting. I mean, I DO love him but, what can I do about his behavior? I don't seem to understand him at this point. I can also recall the times when we'd almost break up because of some silly fight. But, we did sort things out the next day and still continued on our relationship.

Then, just after I was about to break, thinking about what should I do, I've noticed Phobos waving at me and saying "hi" to me again and I did somehow remember the times that even though I have a relationship with Janus, HE was always AND still greeting me whenever I see him. Even if he has already shifted courses and belonged to the other department, he never fails to notice me. I mean, I was confused. What is that all about? It's depressing to think about it.

But, I can't give that thing a special meaning or something...I already have a boyfriend and even if our relationship's on the rocks right now, I still love him. Always am. Always will. I just have to figure it out what to do with his attitude right now. An advice would be great.  

Regret

i met him in my science class,he is attractive in any sense (since some of my friends confessed their attraction towards him in silence) and yet he does not seem to care about this. what is important to him were studies and basketball. it was senior year when i realized that i too, was attracted but i don't have the slightest intention of letting him know since we are parting ways after graduation. the only memory that was left for me is the first dance i had with him during the seniors night. we graduated and we parted ways. i had my boyfriend and was in the middle of my sophomore when i learned that he is moving in to my school. i took the news as a very good news since i haven't heard any of him after that night.never did i imagined that his transfer was a blessing in disguise. it was also the time when i finally gave up with my present boyfriend whom i really love that much. an attitude problem (he cant live with a single gf). and what i really hate the most is that whenever he asks me for another chance it always end up with a yes!i feel sorry for myself. but i know i cant completely turn him down if my attention is still on him. there i made the most selfish decision ever. i accepted my "friend's"(the one mentioned above) offer to be his girlfriend and i told him that i was not making that decision because i love him but because i want to stop myself from making a foolish decision of making my way back to my former bf.he just smiled and told me that whatever my reason is what is important is me being his gf. from then i felt the special care, love and concern i was deprived of by my ex,who i totally forgot. i learned to love him...really love him.yet i did three inconsolable mistakes which up to now i regret. i had an affair with my bestfriend, a co - employee and a former bf. and i had all the guts to tell him all about this.i was expecting for an outrageous emotion but what i had was "it's the past, i forgive you and i love you". i realized that i cant find somebody as good as he, that i should keep him for good. however, i got bored and impatient.i became a nagger and want to change things.i use to start a confrontation everyday with him being very silent in all of those. and he said that not all the things that i want him to do makes him grow, better and happy. that every mistake i commit with another man makes him lose his confidence. suddenly i felt like i was slapped on my face. that was the time that i let him go to give him chance to grow, be better and be happy and most of all to regain the confidence that was slowly deteriorating in silence. he was not in favor of my decision but i insisted. that is the least i can do to help him. now i am alone i may not be happy but at least i learned my lesson and i know i did the right thing out of love.i still love him...

Best friend's hidden feelings...

I thought he was different from the guys I used to love... I thought he understand my feelings, but in the end he was no different. I was breaking in front of him and he still could not see it. Could not see how he had crushed my heart......

I'm not bragging or anything but I am one of the best students in my school... And he was one of the worst...

He came to me and asked for my help with his study, so I agreed just like I agreed to help my other friends with their studies.. Throughout our study sessions, we had grown closer and became good friends... His company made me feel so contented, because he was so sincere and so eager to study, something I rarely see in other guys...

He turned to me for comfort when his other guy friends isolated him, he told me almost everything that he felt about it..How much did it hurt him, how much he wanted to be appreciated by the other guys.. I was the one who was there every time he was down, I went to the trouble of staying up to finish my assignments just to spend time to give him one-on-one tutor, I was the one who cared for him when he was sick (since we live in hostels), I did just about anything just for him....

And from just enough marks to pass each test, on one of the national exams both he and I passed with top grades, and we both continued our study in the same school.. That was when everything went haywire...

We both applied for better schools with our results, and in the meantime we undergone a special program as a preparation...

I really loved him with all my heart and will give just about anything to be with him, when one day he came and seek my comfort after knowing the girl he LOVE is staying and they soon they will be parted... I was so devastated when I heard that piece of news, and slowly we grew far apart from each other....

He no longer visits me frequently in my class, as he spent the remaining time with the girl he loves before he leaves... He couldn't even see the pain i felt every time he cut short our chat just to meet her... He no longer see my concern and encouragement for him, he just noticed her tease and laughs..

He no longer care whether I'm sad or happy, all that matters to him was her..To him, I'm his best friend. To me, he's my deadliest enemy....

The day before all of us will be separated...

Even when he said he will be coming to my class that night after he spent the whole evening with her, he went to her class for the first 2 hours and only came for the last thirty minutes to come to see me to say goodbye.. and from the last thirty minutes, he spent only ten actual minutes talking to me..the rest are just coming back and forth to her class... I didn't cry before that, I cried when he said that he wanted to meet her but still he couldn't see what I'm trying to tell him... He came back to me crying for having to be separated from her, I cried harder seeing his tears yet he was still blind on just how much I love him...

The actual last day, he didn't come over to my class at all...I was so in despair since both he and I live in two different states, yet he could still find the time to spend with her when they both live in the same area... He dedicated a love song to me, only because he liked the lyrics and not because it mean anything to both of us...

And the worst part is, I could not hate him even a little... I was a fool for falling for him in the first place....

He's My Hero....

My names Ashley Boisvert, and my love story started in foster care. I started foster care in the middle of November.

I felt as if my life was at the lowest point it could get, and i was pregnant. My foster sisters were always being judge-mental about everything. I started school one week after i got into foster care, I was a sophomore in Chanute High School.

My first few weeks there were uncomfortable but only because i did not no anybody. About a month after i got in Chanute everybody knew that i was pregnant. And every day it got harder and harder to talk to people cause they knew i was pregnant. At that time i was crushing on Dillon Williams, but i had a feeling he wouldn't speak to me because i was pregnant so i just stayed away.

Day by day people would start stories about me when they didn't know me. I only had a few people that would ever talk to me, I got sick of it. On December 13th I wrote a note to my crush, Dillon. I was scared to tell him who I was so I put your secret admirer at the end, and i had him guess who i was, I was planning to tell him the night of homecoming.... But it didn't work out that way. Dillon guessed who i was the day I gave him the note, It scared me cause then he probably knew all the rumors about me.

My amazing boyfriend, and Me!

i met up with a close friend of mine, i hadn't met him before face 2 face but spoke to him on a daily basis over the Internet and sometimes phone. The day and night we spent together was very nice we got on very well and enjoyed one another company dearly!

I went home the following day and he had given me pure butterflies i had a massive smile on my face and the excitement was over powering me.

We both decided to make us official and ever since then our love has grown so so deeply. 

We have been through rough patches and some of them seemed like i wouldn't be able too hold onto him, and that i would loose him love.

But shockingly he stood by me! 

I was shocked, he believed in me and didn't leave me feeling alone again,

i cant ever ever thank him enough for that.

Right now things are looking amazing for us and i can not wait for the future we have with one another. 

I have also decided that on my 16th birthday this year in June i am moving in with him, 

Some may say i'm too young 

But truly i believe this is something i need to succeed in as now i have his love i don't ever ever think i could live without it.

I believe in him

and i will stand by him and be the reason for his happiness as well as i can be, 

I will NEVER do wrong by him as he is my world and my everything. 

In some aspects i am scared of what will happen to us as recovering from our split would rip me apart inside by you have too take chances in life as you only live once. 

Best of luck for me and him. although i doubt we need it. 

Big thankyou too him for making me feel amazing 

I love him so so so much. 

And too any of you others in a relationship,

stick at it best of luck 

Eme.

6 years means too long but it was not meant to last......

i don't know what category this story falls to but it doesn't matter, what matters is, this story will reach other people and somehow make them realize and get to know a bit of my life.

so here it goes...

way back 2000, i was in 2nd year highschool...it was the first day of classes...all of my classmates were expecting for a transferee who was once their classmate in gradeschool...yep, almost all of my classmates has been classmates since gradeschool, and this particular transferee that they're waiting for is one of the kids they used to play with and be friends with...while they were all excited to see him, i on the other hand was wondering what is it with this boy that they're all so happy and excited about...the thought of it sucks though, that's what i thought, but for them of course it's meaningful, thinking about your lost classmate and found his way back is, yeah right, happy to think about. so i didn't bother entertaining much of my thoughts at that moment coz what i was concerned about was our new teachers for the year and to whom i will sit with for the rest of my sophomore year. so...let's leave it that way. if i wasn't mistaken, i was talking with one of my classmates when this boy "ton" entered the room with erwin, and the guys were all like "Uy ton, musta?" and the rest of the class all went that way acting as if he was gone for too long only to realize that he just enrolled in a seminary for his year 1 in highschool and now he  transferred because he didn't get over with his homesick thing (on the later part, you'll find out why). so, to be honest, while the guys are busy asking him questions, i on the other hand was silent, bothered with my thoughts because the very first moment i saw him stepped into the room, i knew already that like him and i'm indeed crushing him. from that point, i was bothered with my thoughts of how to get to know him, if how can we be freinds and if how we'll be close. but i didn't let my thoughts bother me for too long. i stopped crushing him when i found out that he's courting kc. it's not too long when i had a crush on someone else from our class too. so, our sophomore year ended. at junior high, i did not expect ton to be my classmate for that year, but yeah, we ended up being classmates. i really do not  have feelings for him anymore but he started teasing me and bullying me. inside the classroom, we would really fight. we'd exchange bad words, shout and scream at each other, we'd always have this cat-dog fight specifically during our chemistry and physics subject. he'd throw pieces of paper on my hair and bits of pebbles on my back, then the whole class would say "uyt, LQ". yeah right, so it went that way until i developed a crush on him again. we had this particular open forum wherein our adviser asked us to apologize to the people we've hurt  and have misunderstandings with and as expected the whole class obeyed. ton said sorry to me when our forum was already done and that was when i was outside the room (can't remember what i was doing by then) and i accepted it. from there we became friends. there was also this time when we played t or c during our vacant, and whenever the bottle turned to me, i'd choose consequence and most of the task they asked me to do had something to do with him, either borrow his watch, pinch his cheeks and tell him he's soo cute, you know stuffs like that. Back then, I used to have this notebook where the class can write anything they want and that's where he asked me if we could be friends. i wrote back and said that i've been considering him as a friends since then, then he asked me if we could be more than friends (haha) and i told him "sure, we could be more than friends like brothers and sisters". And he seemed to got pissed with my response and so he told me that he was serious and he meant something deeper, he wanted to court me. So i said "SURE". so it went that way. since then, we tried to get to know one another, we'd always sit together, take breaks together, my bestfriend-pepi-would get jealous but in the end she never got between me and ton. so, the courtship stage went good. i finally said yes to him when it was my cousin's-our classmate's- birthday. so we ended up being bf-gf. at first, we'd fight and argue almost everyday, but we eventually grew more matured and sorted it out evenly. our story went fine not until he started playing games. rj - our bestfriend told me one night that ton's having an affair with someone from tuguegarao. they started as textmates (i don't have a cellphone by this time, that's why). at first, i didn't believe arjay but when i personally saw the girl's number on his phone and read her texts, that's the time i freaked out. i didn't ask him to choose either but he eventually ended it up with his fling. our senior year was bad. during the summer, he'd come in our house rarely. i even  actually thought we were over. so i talked to him as soon as our classes started, i asked him if he still wanna continue what we have, he said yes and that was the only answer i was expecting. so we tried to keep it up but obvioulsy things were not going good anymore. he'd neglect me, he'd take me for granted like as if i was not his gf. then i just found out that he's been denying me from other girls and that he's somewhat courting joy - my exbestfriend. His cheating did not stop even when we were already in college. I passed the exam in baguio for the pharmacy course but i turned it down because i decided to stay in our town and take nursing course with him in the same school we went in to when we were in highschool. he cheated on me for like 5 times. 1.) the girl from tuguegarao 2.) my exbestfriend 3.) he was sees dating with one of the gals i am close with, issued with which he fully denied (i didn't believe him) 4.) the girl from his groupmate in duty, they were caught very sweet during their group outing in Pateng Gonzaga and the 5th one was with his bestfriend. Among the 5 girls, I lost with the 5th one. They never dated and they never had a relationship or any fling thing. But never did I feel comfortable with his betsfriend because it was too obvious that she's got feelings for my bf. To be honest, i was really insecured with her and makes me want to burst up like a volcano. But i managed to control myself, but, you know this feeling that no matter how hard you try to be friends with someone, you just can't it is because you feel that there is something is wrong with this person, i felt that and it's been inside me since the day ton introduced her to me. since then, we'd fight, almost everyday, and he seldom texts me. We'd even fight during our in-house review and he was really taking me for granted. It was christmas season of 2007, we attended the 1st 2 nights of misa de gallo together (that's what we usually do). but on the 3rd day, i asked him if i could attend the mass in school since they're having the mass on a later time compared to the time in the cathedral, and even begged him to let me attend the mass in school since i was having troubles of going to ned early because of my insomnia and for me to at least sleep a bit. he agreed. at first i thought he understood my situation that's why he agreed, but the news came that he's been attending the mass with his besftriend came in. my parents were the one who saw them first. my mom asked me if who the girl was, i just told my mom that maybe it's his cousin but soon, i found out that it was his bestfriend. Sen texted me one day and asked me if ton and i already broke up because she's been seeing ton lately going to their barangay picking up his bestfriend - joan - for the misa de gallo and dropping her off after the mass. that's the time i decided to talk to him and ask him about it. he denied it of course, he said it was just his friend who asked him to drop her off on their house and it happened for just once. i didn't interrogate him anymore but i know for a fact the he was lying and my instincts were right and why would my parents lie to me? right? He even broke it up with me one time because according to him he needs space and time for himself and so i let him be free for a while.. and when he found out that glenn -my crush- wants to court
me, he ardently took me back. by the time we came back to school for the 2nd part of our inhouse-review, he courted me again and was pleading me to accept him again. and so i did have him again. but, one night, while we were reviewing, the conversation about his bestfriend just popped up and i just heard myself asking him to choose "is it me or your bestfriend?" he said, he doesn't have to choose and that there's nothing wrong with having a gf and a bestfriend at the same time. i know that but hello? the fact that he couldn't make up his mind of whom to choose totally drove me nuts. So, it meant that i, his gf for 6 years, have the same weight of importance with his bestfriend for just 6 months? that's stupid right and that's soo unfair!!! from that day on, i started thinking about breaking up with him until the day came, 23rd of december, i finally made my decision and so i did end everything up with him. i gave him back all his stuffs in my room and all the gifts he has given me. he tried to win me back but, i never gave him the chance. he had all his chance when we were still together but look at what he just did, he took me for granted. now he knows what he just gave away. it's been a year since we broke up and i must say, i am not bitter of what happened to us and where we ended up. i am happy now even without a bf. he's still trying to have me back, he's courting me again. i'm not closing doors but the thought of getting back with him doesn't sound cool anymore. 6 years, that's too long. we grew up together and experienced all of the "first times" together but it didn't mean anything to him,that's what i think. we'd even play cards together before. i supprted everything he wanted to do especially his hobbies but then i just came to realize how "mama's boy" he was that he couldn't even have the guts to ask his mom if we can go out and that he's too afraid to even admit to his mom that i was the one he's talking to whenever i'd call him. he was my first bf, no wonder why i let him cheat on me like that. but that's the way our story went. it could've been perfect if only he behaved. we're friends now and i guess we're better off that way for now. for me, the 6- years we were together don't really matter now. i don't know but that's how i feel. and even if i try to see him the way i used to look at hime before, it just doesn't feel right anymore, sounds stupid actually. anyway, what's done is done. if he's trying to bring our past back, that's up to him, but as of me, i'm happy being single and never been happier. we'll see what the future brings.

so there...that's not much of a story actually...

The Girl that I would die for...Shannon

It's the beginning of 2009 and and my story started in 2005. We are separated right now, but i think one day we will get back together. She currently doesn't seem like she wants to, but i believe our love was so strong, we will get married one day. My story goes something like this...

She was 13 and i just turned 14. We had been friends for a little while and i wanted to date her so bad. I thought she was the most beautiful girl i had ever seen and i knew the first time is aw her, i wanted to marry her. She was my first everything and anything. We had our differences and we fought, but we always made up because we loved each other so much. Twice, the fights got so bad, we broke up. But within a few weeks, we were back together. Everything seemed to go amazing for a while and nothing could get in between us. We were deeply in love and all both of us ever wanted, was each other. We hung out with our friends occasionally, but we usually just stayed together because we had so much fun. A few months ago, problems in my personal life caused me to get extremely "confused". The horrible economy caused my dad to almost lose his job, my parents would be constantly fighting, and a bunch of other things. I never told my girlfriend these things because i was so afraid she wouldn't want to be part of my life anymore. I wanted to marry this girl and spend my entire life with this girl and i never wanted anything to get in the way of this. One day, i decided that i would end our relationship with her until the things in my life calmed down. This was by far, my biggest regret in my life. Two weeks after we broke up, i found out she had been hooking up with another kid. I was heart broken. I could barely speak because all i did was cry. I couldn't figure out how she could move on so quickly. The girl i loved with all my heart and soul, was with another guy. I tried to contact her, and after relentlessly trying to get her back, she took me back. We spent new years together and everything seemed amazing. I thought we were going to stay together for the rest of our lives. Two days later, she calls me and tells me she doesn't feel the same anymore and that I deserve to be with someone who feels the same way. I couldn't take it anymore. For a few days, i literally went crazy. I lost 16 pounds and i slept an average of 2 hours a night. All i would do at night, is lay in my bed thinking of her and that other person. I couldn't think of life without her. It's been a month since she broke up with me, and everyday that has passed, I've tried to get her back. I've given her presents, flowers, poems, notes, songs, everything I could think of. Nothing seems to work. She thinks the reason why i broke up with her is because i got bored of her and that i didn't care for her feelings. But the true reason is, i cared for her so much, i didn't want to do anything to ruin us. She still hooks up with this kid, and it kills me to think about it. I asked her to prom but of course she said no but she is going with this kid. My love for her has grown to such an amount it's hard to concentrate in school because all i do is think about her. I would do anything to turn back the clock and go back to just me and her. I would do anything to show her my love and that i want to make her the happiest person in the world. I would do anything to be called her boyfriend again. I love this girl more than words can ever express and i hope one day she can realize this. I want to marry you Shannon.

My moral of the story is: Don't let petty problems get in the way of your love. If you truly love someone, always tell them the truth. Don't ever let that special someone go because they might never want you back again. Relationships are about expressing your love and making sure your lover is happy. I learned this the hard way so don't make the same mistakes i did.

If you ever read this Shannon, i love you so much and i hope one day you will come back to me. I will treat you the way i always should have treated you and i will never hurt you ever again, i promise you this.

Solemn Goodbye

I was 18 then when i met  him his name is Jay.actually there's something weird i easily got attracted to a matured guys rather than my ka age. he was 28 then he is a scout ranger he came into my life so unexpectedly.. then he courted me and just like that. its not really on my plan to take him seriously but unfortunately i fell in love to him.It really felt good being with him, and just even take a glimpse of him.. is as if I'm always floating,everything seems so good and inspirational..but then like what they said reality hurts when in bites. the time had come that i just woke up his gone, and the most painful part is that he left me hanging. its so painful most especially when you would just fine yourself crying in the middle of the night.well good for me that it happen during vacation. months past its back to school time well... i must admit I'm still not over him i mean its like your breathing but is as if your no longer  living, everything was just an empty shell even me myself is an empty  being. its so hard for me to go on with my life when i get used  that his always beside me. it really take so much effort to plaster a fake smile to show them that I'm fine and OK but deep inside I'm slowly dying. a lot of guy courted me and i never take them seriously it is then i realized i start to hate life and its being unjust. i think its almost 7 months when i finally realize that its no good for me to cry over a spilled milk. then months past i met someone well not to make the story long he is my current boyfriend. he is the ideal type of boyfriend..i admit that i still cant forget jay and his irreplaceable but sometimes we have to move forward and learn to let go, no matter what it takes, and i wont ever deny that i do still love him until now.but life is full of uncertainties and surprises and its matter of choice, now im trying to be the best girl to my fiance  most especially now Jay is a happily Married man. i really have to look at the brighter side and continue my race.and be thankful that once in my life he came and make me feel so happy and a better person.  

Lost...

Everything seemed perfect. He was out of his relationship and we were hanging out. We were flirty and playful, and always laughing. Unfortunately he got back with his girlfriend who isn't friendly or wacky and crazy like him! She is cold and unaffectionate and I don't understand it at all. I saw the way he looked at me and I couldn't stand to be away from him. He made me laugh and smile and feel utter and complete happiness. But it was all taken away. We talked less and now basically not at all. I know he liked me... but he's committed..He is too loyal to give up on her even though she broke up with him twice before. He is beautiful and smart and ridiculously funny..and deserved someone that can be everything for him. I can be that person, I want more than anything to be that person. He is all I think about...every text, every doorbell ring, every bright blue truck that whizzes by..i think it could be him.. but it never is. I tell myself to move on..there is no point on wasting my time and energy on a guy with a girlfriend, but I can't help it. He is all i care about and all I want. He is everything to me and he doesn't even know it. He is so sweet and flirty back to me, yet so loyal to his girlfriend. I don't want to maliciously tear them apart..but I know it's not right and it's not going to last..and I know what we could have. Help me understand my situation...help me know what to do. I don't want to let go..but I have no other place to turn. I have become depressed and my mom has heard me talking about him in my sleep, even apologizing sometimes. He is always in my dreams and my thoughts..and he always will be, even if I am only 17.

Trapped in Adultery

A young woman emailed me a few weeks ago.  She had just gotten out of a sinful relationship and needed some advice.  I asked her if she would be willing to share her story.  Here it is:

I never intended to commit adultery, but it happened.  It all started when I became involved in a campus ministry organization.  I met this staff member that was really friendly and easy to get along with.

He asked if we could spend time together, so we began meeting every day.  Sometimes we would meet at the ministry office, other times we would go out.  I didn’t have any close friends, so this relationship made me feel really special.  It was a month or two in our relationship that I learned he was married (and had children).  Regardless, I continued to spend time with him.  I admired him on many levels—he was musically gifted, intelligent, and understanding.  I fell for him, and we became completely involved—exchanging compliments and beautiful words.  We even talked about plans for having a family together.

We also became sexually involved.  This developed quickly since we were alone together so often.  He practiced withdrawal so I wouldn’t get pregnant, and I eventually decided to use birth control injections.  This was lust (not love), and it caused my mind to be impure—always obsessing about what we would do.

Needless to say, I was not at peace living this double life.  I felt guilty and ashamed.  Whenever I worshipped God I felt so empty and hypocritical.  My spiritual growth was completely stunted, and I wasn’t confident when I shared God’s word with others.  I wanted to serve God 100%, but I felt trapped in this sinful pattern. 

I constantly battled with conflicting thoughts.  Part of me actually believed God would allow me to marry him—how deceived I was!  I also wondered what kind of future we really could have, since he wasn’t faithful to his wife. 

My sin affected other relationships in my life.  I lied to my parents, for example, about where I was going and who I was spending my time with.  I even stole money from them for dates and gifts. 

The relationship itself had problems.  I was a mistress, so I experienced insecurities, jealousy, and sadness.  He would warn me not to call or text too often, and we could not express our affection publicly (since we had to hide our relationship).  I couldn’t always be with him, since he wasn’t mine in the first place.

Despite all of these problems, I stayed in this relationship for three years.  I think I stayed in it because of the way he made me feel and the hope that we might one day be together as husband and wife.

I eventually escaped this relationship by God’s grace and strength.  Our pastor preached a sermon on the wise and foolish virgins—being serious about God.  This message really woke me up.  That same day, I called him and said “I’m going to follow Jesus now.”  He accepted it, because I had already told him (four times) that I wanted to end it.  To be honest, I tried to get back together with him.  But this time he was angry with me and said many hurtful words.  It was finally over. 

It’s been over a month since we broke up.  It still hurts me to think about what happened, but I’m healing.  I found strength from giving my mom a big hug.  Sharing my hurt with you and reading your website also helped.  I’m starting to get more involved in ministry with a good church.  I’ve also spent time on friendster and christianster, where I can chat with other Christians.  I study the Bible, memorize verses, listen to DZAS (Christian Radio), read Christian literature, and pray. 

Escape seemed impossible, but God made a way.  There’s just nothing too impossible for Him!  His love is awesome, and He doesn’t want His children to be hurt or destroyed!

God is so great! To God be all the Glory!!!!!

I do love him

Before I start, of course I'll introduce myself. My name's Juno Valentine. Hey. This story that I'm about to share to you is what I'm experiencing right now. So, here it goes...

During my first year of college, my mom requested me to transfer schools to her hometown which was a 3-hour drive from our home. It was a city to be exact. When I got there, I feel a little bit uneasy at first, because of the living they have there (I used to live in a province so I didn't know that what they do is normal). At first, it's difficult for me to cope up with them. I didn't even know how to cross the street which was kinda pathetic for my age. And there's also school, of course. 

During my first day of classes, I was really nervous because I'm like a stranger to my new classmates. I mean, I've never knew anyone there, which was a sad thing. And to add more nervousness, I'm having a hard time talking to someone because I know in myself that I'm not a sociable type-of-girl (I don't even know how to smile properly!). It really sucked. But, as time passes, eventually I DID fit in which was kinda awesome in my part. I met all sorts of people including teachers whom I 'm friends with, and of course my friends whom I did rely on at times.

As part of being a collegiate student surrounded by temptations, I did have some sort of "addiction". My friends introduced me to "online computer games" which I thought was cool (Yeah, kinda awesome). I was interested in it when I saw one of my classmates playing it (my classmate's name is Janus). And then eventually I became more and more into it which developed me a new skill, "socializing" (yeah). Playing computer games everyday was fun, really, because we're all doing it! (he, he).  

I've also met this guy who was always greeting me, saying things like "hello Ms. Juno" and "Goodmorning" whenever he sees me everyday. I really like it, how he treats me (he's name's Phobos). Eventually we did became friends and he courted me...but in the end, it didn't work out. Though I did have feelings for him. Strong feelings, I guess.

 And then, there's the rumor... 

A rumor started swirling around our department that one of my classmates (he's name is Charon) liked me, not as a friend but as "like more than friends" or something like that. To me, it's not a big deal 'coz it's just a rumor, I didn't even have the time to figure if it's real or not. Though it was kinda a hard time for me 'coz it seems to be true. (sh*t) In my part, I don't want to have any part of it. I mean, I just broke up with my boyfriend whom I caught cheating on me! How was I going to cope up with that!? But...I do like someone at that time, though it was not more than as a friend... (he's name's Europa).

Europa and I became BF-GF when he courted me and when I thought everything's doing good--NO, it's not. During our summer vacation, I found out everything about him--awful things about him. Including he's other girlfriend which was a really sucking thing to know. Of course, I broke up with him. At that time, all I did was play online games til I faint (actually it was true, I did faint. But just one time). I was damn miserable. But after our summer break ended, school's about to start again... 

At that point, I did NOT had a hard time socializing with others because I already knew them! (yay!). But...I seem to kinda notice this particular guy...

My classmate Janus! 

All I know at that time was, Janus is the type of person who doesn't really socialize and mingle with other people. He sort of likes to keep things to himself though he was quite a joker at times. I really like guys with a LOT of sense of humor because I like to laugh-out-loud! I was really happy that even though my love life turned upside down, at least I can laugh at his jokes. But I was confused. I mean, why did I suddenly notice him? Was it because of he's jokes? Or something else? Well, I did got an answer to that during my birthday...

My birthday came and I had this sort of feeling that I have a thing for Janus. It was so frustrating for me. I...I can't fall in love with him!  No, no, no. He's prohibited! He's Charon and Europa's friend and I didn't want to ruin their friendship just because of my "love-struck" feelings! And..he doesn't to like girls that much. Then, I came to a decision that I will just stay away from him. But the more I avoid him, the more I was getting drawn into him! (OMG!). I can't seem to stay away from him. We even ended up texting each other. As I was drawn into him day by day, I finally snapped and sort of confessed my feelings to him. I did not expect any replies from him though I did get my reply. The next day, I noticed that he was always looking at me and we were getting closer and closer (Whoa). At that time, he also confessed to me that he also likes me and we became BF-GF.

After a few moths of having our relationship, we became more and more in love with each other until we're inseperable. Though we did always argue about something shallow or arguing over jealousy or something like that. Though we forget about it and make up the next day. 

But now...I don't know what to do anymore, he's becoming more and more argumentative and insensitive. I did try to tell him about it but he just got mad at me and told me I was just over-reacting. I mean, I DO love him but, what can I do about his behavior? I don't seem to understand him at this point. But, I can't just runaway... 

Then, just after I was about to break, thinking about what should I do, I've noticed Phobos waving at me and saying "hi" to me again and I did somehow remember the times that even though I have a relationship with Janus, he was always and still greeting me whenever I see him. Even if he has already shifted courses and belonged to the other department, he never fails to notice me.  

But, I can't give that thing a special meaning or something...I already have a boyfriend and even if our relashionship's on the rocks right now, I still love him. Always am. Always will. I just have to figure it out what to do with his attitude right now. An advice would be great. 

A life of love for just one man

Alejandro came to my house late afternoon disparate and having all intentions of doing something that wasn't right. I pushed him off and demanded to know what was really going on with him. His parents where sending him away. They couldn't Handel having him around a southern girl like me. I was never good enough for them. So i told him that it wouldn't matter where each one of us went. That we would always find a way to go together. That same night i had told my parents that i was sick of their choosing My happiness. That message was sent straight to my mother, then once the clock stroked 12:00p.m. I meet up with Alejandro at the park. Both knowing nothing about the future, and not caring about the consequences following it. At that point are love was so strong nothing else mattered. We would find a way together. We were both accepted happily and gracefully in the farm his aunt[Maria] and uncle[Joe] had up in New York. After a year living with Alejandro and his aunt and uncle, not knowing anything at all about my family something spacial happened. I remember that day as if it was just yesterday. We were on a date and we were at the beach in a shack and that night i finally lost my [V]. The next morning i finally realized what i had done and after almost running out and going crazy he held on to me and told me that everything was going to be OK. That he would never let anything bad happen to me.  I trusted him with my life on the line. After  about 2 months, i finally realized something bigger. As i was in medical school with my best friend Mia i got really dizzy as we walked to Class. And before i new it i lost my balance, and passed out. Once i woke up i was sent with Mia home, but just instead we went to check what we predicted. Yes, i was pregnant. That dropped on me like an atomic bomb. That night at the dinner table i told them what had happened and what i now waited for. A baby! I was scared, and confused. A baby wasn't something i could Handel at the time i wasn't even threw with school yet. I had to tell Alejandro what tormented me every night sense i knew what i carried inside me. He got furious and their he said "Don't do this." The baby had nothing to do with what happened that night. To carry the baby for 9 months and once he was out safely i could grab my things and go but to not take away his baby. After 8 months of not talking with him, i finally came to realize that i was. A mother, no matter what happened, and if i had set up for an abortion as i was planning it would be like killing my own baby. After the time of recognizing who i was ,then i knew what i had to do. I told Alejandro what i now wanted. And he came back to me. Now this is where the story begins to change. As Maria and i were out shopping for the baby's cloth, we had an accident. The baby was fine, but i was in coma. My mother had arrived and told Alejandro to take the baby boy and leave for ever. Alejandro with the guilt did it with out any last words. And when i woke up, i found my self with an empty cradle, and the love of my life completely gone. No letter ,no calls. He had left, and took the most valuable thing i had left. My son. Later on after 3 years, i found out the truth of why i woke up that morning and found my self completely abandoned. My mother had set it all in a plan. Now i live in Los  Angele's California and my son is somewhere around the world. I hated my mother for that. So i went on a search to clam what i had lost. A 3 year old baby boy that i had no clue what the name was and is recognized to be my son. It was hard, and frustrating not knowing if i would ever see him again but i did, at they end and when i did my heart began to feel warm again. a feeling i didn't have sense that one day. But good news isn't always good for long. Alejandro was now married and me heartbroken. I had nothing else but to clam what was mine and let go of what i couldn't have. Me and my baby went back to California and then after 6 months moved to live in Mexico. And then the story changes again... Just when you think its over. He came back for me and for  are son. Are love is  and was always strong. I guess this story isn't just a one time crush. Mines lasted a life time..

Mr. Perfect or imperfect?

It was summer when I decided to enroll for 2months classes, I enrolled not knowing there are a lot more things that will happen aside from learning. I am an ordinary girl, they call me snobbish, strict and all but I haven't thought of figuring out how to love. I accepted being broken hearted with 2 guys whom I actually thought who had fallen in love with me like I do. One time, Bianca, my close friend shared a lot of stuffs about love and suddenly came up to match me with a classmate. Every guy she paired with me had no impact knowing that I want a guy who exemplifies a unique identity. I found this tall, silent guy he is a nursing student like me too. It’s weird when we’re a part of one department yet it is my first time to see him in school. He never says hi to me or to my friends. Funny, I even remember when I was one of the students who passed the exam and quiz just by studying and staring at him. When the summer classes almost ended my other friend Rey keeps on teasing me about the guy we used to call Mr. Perfect. The school began last June and I never thought one time he saw me and asked me a few questions related to school, then the night came when I received a text message from him, we were then constant friends and text pals. What made me struck was he tried to make friends with me because he wants to know me, he shared everything and make me believed that behind the perfect aura I saw in him was a person who also has heart aches in his life. My mom has a friend who works in a flower shop, to my surprise, she went to our classroom and handed me flowers from an admirer she said. When I opened the card I saw my full name and my code name for him. It started there. Up to now, we are both struggling with our school life as student nurses, we are figuring out how God made a miracle. Miracle because his faith was tested with so many constraints about his family and on the other hand, I am a relax person who has almost all the luck yet I haven’t appreciated them. I created a bond with him. We are both ready that we cannot really say until when can we be together, one thing is for sure, we may not be together forever ,we already figured out that there is no perfect someone for each of us yet an imperfect one comes so that we can love them perfectly.

-Miss Karine

First... Valentine's Day... 2007

I just don't understand... I just wish things weren't this way... I just wish things were like they were back when we started... the sweetness.. the romance.. everything...

 I hate this time of the year so much... it depresses me... Valentine's Day season... it's not that I don't like it... It's just the fact that I had the most amazing Valentine's Day back in 2007... it was romantic... sweet... and the best feeling.. it was so special... I just wish I had the same feeling again...  What hurts the most is thinking back to the happy memories with you... and knowing it'll never be the same again... Why can't things be simple... I just wish things between me and you weren't this way... I just wish we could be like "that" again... I still remember our Valentine's Day perfectly... every bit of it... because it was that special. Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Morning I was in Middleton doing a FRANK promotion, whilst you was in college. We had blow up sofas, I remember how fun the day was and how excited I was, but the excitement wasn't for the campaign... it was or you... I knew you had planned something... I even had an outfit planned.. you didn't even tell me if we were going out... but I sensed we would... That whole morning I was thinking of you, and thinking of what you may have planned, I looked forward to seeing you at 4pm that afternoon.  Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Afternoon- 3:30pm  We had packed up the FRANK equipment and was ready to call it a day. At this point I was very excited and couldn't stop smiling, but I wondered where you was. I knew you finished college early that day, because t was a Thursday and you normally got to my house for about 3:30pm so I wondered where you was when you hadn't arrived in Middleton to pick me up by 3:45pm... So I waited, walked around a little.. I remember whilst I waited I went into the Flower shop near Wilkinson's and bought a single red rose... I know it was a guy thing to do... But I wanted to show you how special you really was to me! I also bought you a big helium balloon saying "I Love You" I felt like a numpty carrying it around waiting for you. Then I got your call at about 4pm so I went to the car park outside McDonald's and got into your cute little car... I remembered how silly you looked when you saw the balloon and rose... Thinking about it now is making me smile so much... and my eyes just turn into a river... I noticed that you even wore the shirt we bought in Next together, you wasn't sure because it was pink... But you still got it because I liked it, and you wore it on the day. When I asked you where's your college uniform you said you had changed in college... So I didn't think anything of it.   Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Home 4:30pm  Once I was home, I was jumpy and my brother thought I was a little insane... My parents had already left for work, my grandma wasn't home at this point as she was on holiday with my Auntie  and family. I felt quite bad leaving my little brother home and going out.. But he understood. I remember telling him I was going to get changed, so I basically flew up the stairs and when I went into my room I went to the wardrobe... But I was so excited I hadn't realised the BIG surprise you had left on my bed... The most beautiful dozen of red roses I had ever seen... The biggest card envelope I had ever seen... Then when I turned to the door you was there laughing because I started crying... Then I remembered I had to give you you're gifts too.. So I got out that Millie's Cookie in a shape of a heart which had the words "Vivian Loves Vinnie Forever" on it... I knew how much you loved Millie's and expected you to eat it.. but I was laughing so much when you said you wouldn't eat it.. Then we were just sat in my bed talking and looking at the roses, I remember how you was saying they cost so much, and he would only get the best roses for the best girlfriend...   Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Ready to go out 6:00pm At this point I was all dressed up and I remember you saying "I never said we were going out anywhere" I ignored you because it was blatantly obvious as you was all dressed up and had your keys ready... As I left I saw my brother east his dinner, we set off and just as we got onto the main road you stopped the car.. I wondered what was up as you got out and went into your boot... Then you came back with a small Swarovski bag and told me to open it... I thought it was the little bear with the heart balloon.. But when I opened it it was a little clear crystal vase with 6 crystal red roses.. and inside you left me a small note saying "I'll love you til the last one dies" At this point everything was perfect and I said "these don't die.. you do know?" I remember the way you looked at me...   Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Ikan, Manchester 6:30pm  I'll never forget that restaurant, it has the most amazing atmosphere, all dimmed and they had all little hearts and things... I remember we ordered the stuffed chicken wings and the sliced duck breast. During the meal there was a singer by the piano and she sang a great song... and everytime I hear that song I think of that special day. "Get Here" by Oleta Adams. After the meal I wanted a balloon from the restaurant but we didn't have one and I remember you asking the guy next to you i you could have the balloon to give to me... I was so happy I got it! After that we decided to walk around Chinatown on our way back to the car... This is when we walked past one of the underground shops... You said look at that mask. And I literally screamed and ran, it was the scariest mask I had ever seen and all you could do was come after me and laugh at me... I felt so stupid for running off, but you just held me and made me feel better... I was too scared to move an inch away from you after that...   Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Rusholme 8:30pm We decided we didn't want the night to be over yet, so we drove into Rusholme, we bought a cute little heart shaped cake, rasmali.. and I wanted to go into Moonlight... like always so we did.. I got my ice cream and we walked around the streets of Rusholme, you bought me a fake plastic rose... of some woman... then further down a man said to you "buy the girl a real rose, much better!" I remember whinging at you then you bought me one and picked the biggest in the bunch... I was a happy girl that night... The drive home was nice... We talked about how we would spend our future Valentine's Days... You was saying how this was your first proper Valentine's Day and you didn't want it to be your last... and I said exactly the same... I knew I couldn't lose you... The whole drive home we talked about us... and the night... the surprises... the day we first met... Everything... past..present and future... The whole day and night spent with you felt like a dream... I just wished it had been a neverending dream... A dream that went on forever.   Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday: Home  10:00pm By this time we were quite tired... Especially you... We ended up on the sofa just talking about nothingness... the nothingness seemed to pass quickly because my parents came home from work... And as I got all excited about telling them the surprise they weren't so enthusiastic they jus replied that they knew because they were still at home when he prepared it all.. I was so hyper. I felt so special with you... You meant everything to me... At the time, I didn't care what happened around me... You was the only one that made me smile... You made everything happen. My mum agreed you could leave at midnight once Valentine's Day was officially over... Because you had to be in college the next day and you had to drive back up to Cheadle  Valentine's Day 2007- Thursday/ Friday: Bedroom 00:15am I had read your huge essay card you gave me the card was huge... and you filled every little space with writing... I still remember what you wrote... All th
e sweet things you promised... All the plans you had... I remember crying when I read it... But I cried because I was happy... I was happy because... just because it was from you... and you really did mean every little thing to me...I really hope that this special memory will stay by me forever...  It was my first... my best... and I don't know when it'll be that I'll feel the exact same feeling again... because I heard.. your first real love is the most special, most precious... But... it's also known to be the most painful.

Someday all of us had a story to tell

It was January 2007 when I'm already confused and my feelings changed towards him.I don't know why and how did it happen because one morning i woke up thinking about him and go to school for the purpose of seeing and talking to him.I have so many questions left unanswered and feelings left unspoken.

we were classmates in high school (3rd-4th yrs), were not even friends! the whole junior year, we don't care and don't mind each other,acting like I'm not there and he's not there and we don't even talk and laugh together.I remember how i hate him and i don't know why.when I'm still in the 2nd year of my high school life ,I already noticed him and the moment i knew we're classmates , I felt the urge to transfer.

Time changes the feelings u have for the person u hate. senior high came and we were still classmates. we were elected as class officers of batch 2007-2008 and sadly he wants my part, I'm the secretary of the class and he's the treasure, which I also hated , so, he talked to me and we exchange positions but our teacher didn't know that.

It all started with a small conversation and we became friends, as time passed by we became close friends. The he whom i knew in the past and expected him to be is absolutely wrong. Everytime i go to school and entered the room, he calls and chatter comes along.There are days when we pretended to be couples and planning our wedding +_+..its really a memory to remember. The day I felt confused with my feeling towards him when he no longer calls me when I come in and won't talk to me.That;s the time i realize how better he is and how deserving he is to be loved and cared because he did so many things that changed my life. I then remember the times when he's the only person who knows when I'm badly hurt,and cares when I'm not feeling well.

graduation Day came and i slipped of my pocket and get my cellphone and texted him saying "congratulations and I love u" after the ceremony he comes to me saying "congratz" and straight-away goes home. It hurts me though seeing him walking away and I won't be with him the next day around.

summer was the time i love most because he told me why he's acting like that in the past few days, won't talk to me and for exchanging me for someone.guess what? he loves me! and I'm very very much happy to hear it. everyday seems like yesterday once more. And now, we are what you think we are. and he really change the way he say things are very different than before.

It's a very long story to tell but it may help u think that there are some people fall in love when they already found the one who can touch and change their life for a lifetime.

Here is the truth behind it.why I'm so much happy that he change and learn to love someone like me.He is known to be gay since high school and I'm so much happy that I did change him for a reason,hehehe

thank you for reading my story hope u like it.