My Confusing Struggle

I get more confused by the day about the situation I am in with my "relationship". I was with my partner for two years, early in the relationship I made the terrible mistake of cheating. It was only one time and I have regretted it ever since it happened. I never told the person I was with but after almost two years had gone by it came to the surface. i admit I probably should have been honest to begin with, but I was so afraid of losing the person I was with I let fear stop me from telling the truth. So when I was confronted with it, I came clean. And just as I suspected would happened I was told it was over and to leave right then. So my fear came true and my heart was broken. It has been two months and in that two months things just seem to get more confusing.

After I left, me and my partner did not speak to each other for about a week. When we did start talking, they made it very clean that there would never be a relationship in that way between us again. As time, has went on we have began to spend time together again. It almost feels like dating again. My partner quit telling me that it was permeantly over and that we could try to rebuild the trust that was lost. But for now there would be no sexual things of any kind, just a platonic relationship of sorts, for now. Anyways about a week after I was told that, me and my partner were on the phone late one night and ended up having phone sex. Correct me if I'm wrong that counts as some form of sexual activity? Anyways, my partner even went on to say how they wanted to get a hotel room away from everyone and everything to do the things that we had discussed. So I was under the impression that we were making progress towards reconcilation. I soon found out I was sadly mistaken. 

So as time has went on and those plans were never followed through with. I didn't say much about it, because I understood that they may not be ready for that and as much as I love my partner I could wait, especially if that was what they wanted and needed. And also seeing as how it was my stupid action that caused the situation we are in to begin with. But now even more time keeps passing and I don't mind the waiting on the sex part at all, but I'm beginnning to wonder am I waiting on something that isn't ever going to happen? Because when I agreed to the being friends thing until we began to restablish the trust I was under the impression that someday we would be progressing past where we are. I thought maybe we had finally reached that point on Saturday. Saturday was my birthday. My partner came over for my birthday and took me out and on the way to where we were going handed me a ring box. Inside the box was a very pretty pink diamond heart shaped ring. I was so excited, I reached over and hugged and kissed them on the cheek and let them know I like it very much. Anyways, as the night continued I figured it would result in sex or something, just because a heart shaped ring seemed like a pretty big jesture for just a friend. But again I was wrong. They took me home, didn't even hug me goodnight and that was that. 

I forgot about this part a few weeks ago, my ex even stayed all night with me and slept in my bed and had their arm around me as we slept. That was just something else that added to my already growing confusion. I mean I hope I don't sound nuts but all of these action seems to speak loudly to me, but my ex keeps making it sound as if I shouldn't and I shouldn't read anything into any of it.

So to top off all the confusion, tonight I was having a conversation with them and I asked about the ring. Seeing as how I've been wrong with all my other assumptions I just had to know. So I asked did it mean anything? The answer I got was the farthest I could have wished for. I was told it didn't mean anything, it was simply a birthday present nothing more, nothing less. I mean normally I'm ver a patient person, but with this situation and the way it keeps going back and forth. I'm completely clueless as to whether I should just keep waiting patiently or just let go?  I mean I love this person very very much but at some point is that always enough? Because just as with the ring, yes I may have hurt them with my one act of indiscretion, but I'm getting hurt playing this back and forth game. I guess what I am trying to say is if you really love someone is the hurt worth the outcome? I don't know anymore. Part of me wants to lets go and just say forget it. But the other part says hold on, it will work out, you'll see. I just really have no ideal what to do or think.