The Happiest Days of My Life

The soft morning light of the summer shined through my window on August 30th. My best friend was driving over to my house so we could doll up for the music festival that was three days long ahead of us.  Like two normal teenage girls, we giggled and gossiped as we applied thick rock star-like eyeliner and light scarves.  

Our first stop was my boyfriends house.  He got us free tickets to this event.  Recently, he was acting weird.  He pressured me to do sexual things I knew I wasn't ready for at that age.  We took the tickets from him, and with a kiss on the cheek we promised we'd meet up later.   

We entered the festival with grins on our faces and curious eyes.  The day passed quickly and soon it was the evening: the time our most anticipated concert began.  As we pushed our way though the crowd to the near front, we saw a boy who was amazingly cute.  We pushed a little harder until we were right in back of him and his two friends, who were also very good looking themselves.  Soon enough, we all started up a conversation.  The tall friend introduced himself last and I didn't catch his name, but I was very interested in him. As soon as the music started playing, he stood right next to me and we talked throughout the concert.  The hypnotic music pulsed through our bodies and we danced.  He was so nice, he even had a really cool accent.  Eventually, at the end of the night, I picked up his name a number.  My friend and I agreed to meet the three of them the next day since we had free tickets.  Thoughts of my boyfriend never crossed my mind.   

The next day, my friend and I met the boys.  All day was spent laughing, tickling, joking, and going to day concerts.  He was so courteous; he didn't try being a gross, perverted boy as I was used to.  But when he asked my age, i made the serious mistake of telling him I was one year older than I was.  It wasn't too bad though, he was only two years older than I.  For the second time, the music of the night concert flowed through us and made his hands drift to my waist.  We swayed to the music together, a little slower than the fast beat like we were the only ones there.  And then suddenly as the music came to a sweet peak, he leaned around and kissed me first on the cheek, and then softly on my lips.  That was possibly one of the most magical moments of my entire life.  Later we went up into the sands and kissed some more.  We watched the concert and talked about his home country, back in Europe.  As stupid as it really does sound, we had so much to talk about and so much in common.

We sat around a fountain after the concert.  As he pulled me closer to protect me from the mist, I felt my heart tremble and eyes widen in excitement.  I knew that I liked him...almost too much than I possibly should.

The next day I didn't see him much until the night.  At that concert, we joked and hugged.  Afterwords, he promised me he would call me...I sure hoped he would. 

Just like a true gentleman, he called a few days later to ask me out that coming Saturday.  When we met up, we ran around on the sandy beach and kissed like lovers in the woods.  After that, we talked everyday and went our almost every weekend and sometimes saw each other during the week for about 3 weeks.  It was a night in late September when he asked me if we could make this official (of course my boyfriend and I were finished).  I was ecstatic to say the least. 

The next month we did so much together.  We went everywhere in our city.  Those big hazel eyes and freckles could get me to do anything.  When he said things, he meant it and you could tell from the sincerity in his melodic voice.  He looked at me with the sweetest expression, the one every single girl in the world wants to get.  He kissed me so sweet and so soft.  We laughed together like nothing else in the world mattered.  I know everything sounds cliche and so sappy, but it was all true.  I was falling in love for the very first time in my life.   

One night, we sat on top of a hill that over looked the entire city.  He took a picture of me with his camera, then looked away from the screen, and just looked at me with his lips slightly upturned.  "You're so beautiful."  Those words still bring a smile to my face every time I think of that moment. 

I saw him one more time after that day.  We had a magical night together; I was almost positive he felt the exact same way as me.  I felt like I was in love.  
The next night I was at a party at my friends house.  He asked me to meet him on a dangerous but busy street because he was lonely taking the bus home.  I said I could not, for it was far too dangerous, and yet he still seemed angry.   

The next day, we did not talk at all.  That night I was the one who had to instigate the conversation.  He was dismissive and cold.  I asked him if he was angry with me and he simply replied 'no', even though I knew he was lying.   

The next day went the same.  I was so nervous all day to talk to him.  He was still mean and cold.  Later at about 9 that night, he called me.  "I don't think we are working out" he said.  "What?" is all I could say.  He repeated his cold statement once more:  "I don't think we're working out.  "Oh. Okay.", I said, completely dumbfounded.  "Yeah well....bye".  Click.  That's the last time I've ever heard from him.   

It has almost been three months since he broke up with me, and I still feel heart broken.  I have cried every single day since then, i miss him so bad.  What did I do so very wrong?I remember him talking about how he's never had a happy Christmas season in the states because everyone lives in Europe.  I promised him that he'd have a great Christmas with me.  As Christmas day quickly approaches, my hear my heart beats a broken beat and I earn for him to just talk to me. All I want is an explanation.  The truth hurts,but I want to know.  My first love lost was sure painful.  I know I will find love again, but my heart still feels heavy.  If only he knows what has happened to me because of this.  The scars on my arm will stay forever, the fluctuation of my weight will effect my health forever, and the months of therapy ahead will remain a painful memory in my head.  Even though he broke my heart into pieces (or at least it feels like it), , I would have trouble saying that I couldn't take him back.  I am still in love with him, and I think I always will be, with my first love.  Those were the happiest days of my life, and I morn the loss like I've lost one of the most important people in my life.   

If I could say anything to him, I would say this:  ******, I love you.  Though I never spoke those words, I truly mean them.  If you could forgive anything I possibly did wrong, that would mean to the world to me.  I miss you and wish for your return back into my life everyday.  When I was with you, I was the happiest I ever was in my entire life.  I'd do so much.  I'd learn your native language just to tell you how much I sill love you in that language.  I'd run to you in the middle of the night just to prove that I care.  I would write you a song. A letter. Please, think it over.  I I think of you every minute of everyday.  I love you .  I miss you...  You forever remain in my heart.