Monday, 22 December 2008

Lost Stars

She died on August 15th, 2007. 10:15pm. Sophomore year. My best friend and then only girl who i truly loved for everything that she was, and everything that she could be. To us, are futures we blank. We had nothing telling us where are friendship may go in the future, or where it may end. I was 5 years old when i met her for the first time. I can't exactly remember how it went. But sitting around the table in kindergarten, she is the only face I can remember getting a close look at. She smiled at me. And I smiled back. That was when I think we both felt love for the first time. We were too young to know what this feeling was. But what we did no, was that it was special, and nobody else had it. And then time went on. We became closer and closer. Are friendship grew stronger and stronger. We never argued, only debated. (Which are two very different things). And then 5th grade came along. That's when i finally got the nerve to ask her out. And she said yes. And we dated for probably 5 months or so, until it ended. The reason behind it ending was simple. We both thought that what we had wasn't true. We believe that love was something like a fairy tale, and that it was an illusion and we would eventually loose it. So we tried to stop love before it stop us. Trying not to love her was the hardest ting I ever had to do. Its not easy denying something that is so true, but believed to be so unrealistic. She seemed to be doing fine without me. So I felt obligated to try and enjoy life without her, as she did me. But utterly, this didn't last long. We became friends once again during 8th grade. We told each other everything. We were totally open to each others beliefs and we would have long conversations under the stars. We even named two stars based on us lying next to each other. Nights became late. During Freshman year we had one of the longest nights, lying on the rocks beside the lake, watching shooting stars. Are love for each other began to grow again, and we both knew it. Tat night I kissed her for the first time. Lying on the rocks, under the stars. When you kiss the person there is a rush that goes over your body. Something tells you whether or not the person is the person that your meant to be with for the rest of your life. And I felt that. So did she. We both became aware that night that the love we had was something that was so true. We were living are own Love Story. When we were with each other we made every second count. It was the most amazing thing. To love and be loved back. So a year went by and are love continued to grow, until we became Sophomores. She started hanging around with a new group of people. At school they were known as the "Druggies". As you can tell by the name, this wasn't best. One night in August she was trying to convince me to go to a party with her. I said no because I didn't like the people she was hangin' around with. This was the closet thing to and argument we ever had. So she went. Around 10:00pm I got a phone call. It was her. She told me that there had been drinkin' and some of her friends had Bitched her out. She wanted to leave. I told her that I was on my way, but she didn't want to wait. The house she was at was only about 5 minutes away. As I drove there I had this feeling. It can't be described. There was just this feeling that I'd never had. As I was trying to understand what was happening I saw a car on the side of the road. It was crashed into a tree. I can remember glipsing down and seeing the time. 10:15pm. She didn't want to leave her car there, so she tried to drive herself to my house, ignoring the fact that she was drunk. So now I'm here. Telling you my story. It's hard going on without her. It's been a year and I still cry every night. But I'm trying to fight my way through this. It's hard not having the love, that I can never rememer not having. I've become so obsorbed in the memories, yet I've lost are stars to the night sky. But although I've lost us, everytime I look into the night sky, I see her eyes.

No comments:

Post a Comment