A true love

I met bryan on the computer, we talked alot, we fell in love..... were only 17. He is from New York and im from Ireland...... we could have met in NY when i was there but he was sick, we were complty stupid, we could have called each other or texted...... when i got home i was way more in love.... my parents called "Becca, your different. what happened?" i jut anserwed "I'm in love" they were shocked..... i told them everything.... Me and Bryan talked about everything, kids, wedding, us, names and what would happen if we did get together. One day my friend was talking to him, and she said did Becca tell you she is moving to NY. Which was true, me and him could be together, but my parents didnt like this. They fought with me. I hated it. One of his friends told me he will always love me till he dies. I nearly dies right there cause i couldnt walk to him and kiss him. I truely love him. he makes me happy. It's cool how you know your in love at my age. i hope one day me and him will meet, date, marry, have kids and just be together.

he will always be my true love

Seven yEars? aNd He LeFT me?

Hi, my name is LOurely...im currently residing at my native homeland...PHILIPPINES...im a 21 year old Filipina...im just a typical girl, working as a nurse in one of the most prestigious hospitals here...well...I just want to share to you my LOVE story...

I was still in high school when we meet at the gymnasium...
We always have our monthly contest at school and We were practicing a dance number at that time when my partner broke his leg(I didnot exactly know what happened to him)...The contest will be on the following day, so I need someone to dance with me...

I know he was staring at us to a distant seat not that far from the stage...He came up and ask what happened...I was like telling him the whole story when he ask if he can replace my partner...I said yes and I never thought that he was really good in executing all the dance steps that we made...i ask him where could he possibly learn all these steps...at that time I knew he misses his last subject just to observe us dancing on the stage and getting all the dance steps perfect at the same time...I was so Impressed... It was not that hard to find a replacement after all...

We actually won the contest...one day someone texted me and it was him...I ask him where he got my number and he honestly told me that he got it from my broken legged partner...At first I was shock...he told me he would like to go out and have dinner...I said YES...that was my very first date ever and he was my first kiss...

After several months of going through the getting to know stage...he started courting me and I said YES...

After a year we finally decided to introduce ourselves to our family and make it an official formal relationship...
on his parents side i ain't got any problems at all, but on my side it was a total opposite...my parents are strict that even if a guy calls me on the phone, it would take an hour and a half to do all the interogations as to who was that guy who called me, was that my boyfriend...stuff like that and it really pisses me off...i know it's normal for parents to ask, but I mean it's too much and i'm sick of it...

We had this relationship for more than 7 years already...we been through it all...all the trials that come, happiness, sorrow...we were both there to share it together...

Right now we are already professionals and we had planned out alot of thing already...he is now a seaman travelling internationally and i am a nurse...

But one day I was so shocked that he was at the airport leaving for manila because he needs to report there and thats the time wherein he would want to fullfill his dream of travelling internationally...I was really hurt that I attempted suicide at that time...yet all I know I was PREGNANT with our first baby...

That idea nver came into my mind again...after a year...I was able to receive an email from his friend which happened to be a common friend for both of us...he told me that the guy I loved was already married to another woman...

I admit, it was really, really painful for me...At that point was still hoping for him to come back yet he did not..after i knew all about the marriage thing...I decided to move on with my baby...

Now, you know what...I really don't care if he comes back or not...I am completely happy with my life right now...My life had changed because of my very cute and very smart 1 year old daughter...I am really blessed to have her by my side, she makes me complete as a human, she was the one who held me up when I was really down...

I guess the only thing that I was not able to do is to let her father see her grow up...by and by I know she would understand what had happened between us and her father...

Since then I myself decided to raise her by myself...and right now me and my baby are living together with my parents...they have accepted me and my baby with arms wide open...they spoil her like it was their own child...

i'm just really happy...but the pain still lingers on everytime I remeber what had happened in the past... 

What should I do?

I'm 16 and I've met this guy. He's 17 and we're in the same school as each other. That's how I came to have met him.

We have known each other since September 2008 and Its only recently Ive started to realise I have strong feelings for him. But there's a problem.

I've had some really bad experiences in the past so I find it hard to trust anybody and am always doing something to hurt or push everyone away before they can hurt me.

I don't want to push him away because I like him a lot and he says he understands that I want to take things really slowly but I'm scared of messing up again. I don't want to lose him and I know this sounds kind of Pathetic but he's the only good thing in my life right now.

We've talked about my past, and about his and it seems that we have more in common than I ever thought.

I've already said before that I find it hard to trust what people say to me but he tells him he loves me. Hes so gentle and kind, caring and giving. He tries his hardest to protect me from things because he does't want to see me hurt and I can't help but believe him but there will always be that nagging doubt in my head so I feel I will never be able to be his properly.

It upsets me because I want to make him as happy as he has made me but I just don't know how...

Ghosts

His last name is Hand. 

When I first met him, I scoffed at his name and the way he'd stared at me, as if I were an exotic bird.  But then, I learned his character.  And thus, I grew to long for the inflections of his voice, his smile.  I grew to love his smell, touch & taste in music.  And most of all, I grew enamored of his hands.  And now, he doesn't want to "want me".  How ironic, on so many levels.

Nearly 3 yrs ago, we met as strangers, attending a Martial Arts Class.  I remember walking up the field on the first day and making eye contact with him.  He was absurdly naive looking and young.  And he stared so intently, I was actually insulted, and gave him my "piss off" look and still he stared, so I pointedly walked away.  After this introduction, I forgot him.  Nice and tidy.  Or so I thought.  A week later, during a "test", which was a short but rapid hike, I realized who he was.   

My hands are small and they could not keep a steady grip on the 2 20 pound loads, that we were required to carry.  He saw this and quietly insisted on carrying the weight.  Not only for myself but for the entire group.  And as the load was traded, his hand touched mine.  Electricity.  The humanity in his eyes was beautiful and his large & elegant hands carried the weight, well.  I think, that's when i started to fall for him,  I was becoming undone.    

We started to hang out as friends and he initiated a romantic attempts, which I sabotaged because, I was a purposely blind & leery.  Eventually, after an emotional flair-up, which went mutually unacknowledged.  We drifted apart like icebergs.  Burning flames buried in the cold.  And now, there's only polite greetings.  In public, we are like ghosts floating past one another.  I can understand their obsession.  Desire  haunts. 

I regret it.  I denied him because I denied myself.  Because at that point, in my life, I was a veritable mess. I wish I had communicated and loved him with more intention and kindness.  Do we get second chances?  Sometimes yes, sometimes no.   

Hand, I'll always know you.  And your memory will stay with me, long after I cease to see your ghost.  I wish you happiness and peace of mind.  Maybe in the next life, we'll belong to one another.  But I'm grateful, I had the opportunity to brush past you, during this one.  Love, Huh.

He repeatedly told me he loved me; stabbing my heart with each lie

I never thought I'd be sitting here, venting out on my keyboard (which I AM sorry about, sorry keyboard) but here I sit, nonetheless, sad and lonely due to my own selfishness and self pity, which I am drowning in.  

When we met, I never thought I'd like him. Actually no, that's a lie, I hadn't ever really thought about it, that's what happened. He was, in fact, 'heart-broken' over another girl. Wow. This is hard to type, now that I think about it. Bringing back all those memories of the early stages of our friendship. Oh, how I'd give anything to get that back, go back in time and rewrite my life. But again, I'm sitting here. Can't worry about what's been and gone. 

Let me start over; we were friends. Not close or anything of the sort, just mere classmates. (Yes, I am in school, but do not judge me for that. I know love. I really do) He had been dating a girl who 'broke his heart'. I'm guessing he told her he loved her too. Shocker. My one and only purpose in actually talking to him was to make him happy again. He, unknowingly, bothered me with his depression. As if it could spread. I wanted to help. I had no intentions whatsoever for him to fall for me in doing so. Ironic really. I was trying to help him heal his broken heart only for me to eventually crush it again.  

So okay, blah blah, we become closer and closer as friends. I had very quickly developed a little crush on him and apparently he did too. He asked me out on a date once.. and I turned him down. I didn't want to be barbaric and simply go out with him just based off instinct. And of course now I realize I should have.  

Months pass; my crush grows. 

Months pass; so does his. 

But he had given up, obviously for he never asked again, and he had a new girl by his side. Lucky girl she was.
 

During this time, we talked more often, and become extremely close friends. I would even call him my best friend. And I believe he would have done the same. We were talking one night, and he specifically told me, all the while still together with his girlfriend, that he could see himself falling for me. 

A few weeks later... he did.
 
Or so he said. 

And of course, me being the stupid, masochistic, naive and gullible girl, I was completely and utterly head over heels for him. Totally and irrevocably in love. Still am to this day. 

But.. I was afraid of getting hurt. More so, afraid of hurting him. I had been told multiple times I was capable of that. Those asses. So again I turned him down. but not before confessing my feelings for him. And that of course lead to no good. Actually, no, it was kind of nice. We kept the thin line between friends and lovers but still showed our feelings for one another. It was romantic, sweet, adorable, every possible adjective that brings to mind a relationship perfectly pure. Genuine. Love. 

Then I had to stop, I didn't want to lead him on when I, myself, didn't know where it was headed. You know that feeling when you don't want to see him get hurt, let alone know that you're the one that caused it. I'd been told that all I did was cause pain. That I just hurt the ones I loved. 

Oh, how true that was. 

From then on nothing was easy. I had hurt him so much, so badly, that I thought over every word before I said it when I was around him, just to be sure there was no possible way I could further hurt him. Apparently, that didn't do the job. The worst part was that he still 'loved' me and I still loved him but I never spoke it simply because I couldn't stand hurting his heart anymore with my damn bipolar feelings. 

So I kept my feelings to myself the entire time while he, all the while keeping the friendship borderline, continued to confess and declare his love for me as if I never begged to stop and cried over it when he showed me the cuts on his arm that he said I were the cause of.  

I constantly tried to push him away by telling him nothing good could come from any relationship between us. I tried telling him that it wasn't love, all those times he spoke the words "I love you", hoping he would listen yet silently praying he wouldn't ever stop; my damn hormones and stupid silly dreams getting the better of me.

Months pass; nothing changes, my urgent cries to him to stop putting himself through all this pain, to stop loving me like he did because it was unhealthy, nothing got through to him. 

Then to my utter surprise and dismay, he listened. 

So suddenly, he just told me he'd stop chasing after me because he hurt too much and stressed too much over it. He said he wanted to stop hurting. And just like that he had a new girl. 

I now know what I've had all along and simply threw it away. I now realize that I should never make someone my everything, because when they're gone, I'll be left with nothing.

Troubled Life

When you first read this you will think this has nothing to do with love and heartache. Growing up with out a father. Being molested by someone you thought would never hurt you. It changes the way you are completely.  

When i was a kid my parents got divorced and went their separate ways. It was hard because they always fought. He threatened to hurt my mom a couple of times and to take us away. Then my father met another women. 

(These are fake names. I'm not comfortable using real ones.) 

Rachel had 3 kids. The eldest son was 17. His name was Dennis. He was the product of her first failed marriage. Braiden was her second child he was 5 and Daphne was 3. I was 6 and my brother Nick was 4. We were all close in age. 

My father never really liked me. He always favored my brother. I was jealous of my friends who had both parents and how they were "daddy's little girl".

I wanted that so bad. My mom began dating soon after. One after another they came and went. I never let myself like them and grow attached because i know they would leave. I always had a wall up. Even as a kid. In a sense i was always alone. I am still alone no matter how popular i am and how many friends i have. Before i get to that ill tell you what he did.

Dennis always frightened me. At night, when i spent the weekend at my fathers, he would always play with my feet. I would hide mine with the other kids so i wouldn't have to be afraid to sleep. One night he took it to far. Its hard to even say what he did now. A normal teenager would try and make it to second base with a girl his own age. He made me go that far and i was only 7. It hurt and scared me because i had no clue what was really happening. 

I'm 17 now and i can still remember that night clearly. To this day i can't stand people touching my feet. Like i said before you would think this story has nothing to do with love. But it has everything to do with love. I cant let anyone into my life. I run away from relationships and anything to serious. I get into situations that make life even harder for me. 

I want someone to love me. I want to love someone. To have what i see many kids have at my age. I'm not sure if my father hating me and what that kid did to me is the reason for this but its all i could possibly think of. 

I have hurt so many because i cant open my heart. I'm going crazy i don't know what to do anymore.

Forbidden love

Just call me 'anne',24.before i can't even think of having a complicated relationship,but as fate have it,-it struck me.I have my bestfriend at work and we're very click at each other,we even shared the same interest,she had this married guy and they had a daughter,my friend had a prob.with this guy and my advise was to leave him and move with her life,i even talked about adultery and that the legal wife can sew her for staying with her husband with the fact that my friend knew that they we're married.And then,my friend introduced me to that guy,that same night,the guy called me,thanking me for being nice to them,to cut the story short,we become good friends,he told me that he does'nt love my friend anymore and that he's only care is for their daughter.our relationship goes deeper,and then,one night something happened..he was my first..i'am afraid to tell this to my friend,i know for sure that she will get mad and she'll hate me..she's my friend and i can't bear losing her,i decided to stay away with the guy,but he's already inlove with me..he even tell my friend about his feelings for me,hopin that i 'll accept him..but i can't,having an affair to a married guy will make my family mad,they expect something for me..they know that i'am smart,and that i'am well raised..they got some future plan for me,i loved my family and i can't bear hurting them..besides,what will people said if they knew that i've got an affair with my bestfriend's boyfriend..and worst that guy is married with his first girlfriend..so then,i decided to forget him..he promise to divorce with his wife,he promise everything to win me back,i know for sure that he really loves me..he had proven this in many ways,.but my family matter's most..fate just played a trick on us..until now,he keeps on texting me,begging me to stay,but i must do the right thing..in so many ways,we must not only allow our hearts to be in control..this is why head is above our heart..