Although I am basically heterosexual, and happily married for some 35 years, from time to time I have been attracted physically to men and would now say that I have a bisexual side. I first began to realise this years ago when I was a student. On one occasion I was hitch-hiking from Paris to Amsterdam when I was picked up by a middle aged Belgian motorist.
As we drove along, chatting happily, he began patting me on the knee. I sensed what he was after and felt quite excited. (I had not attended a private boarding school - what we call a "public school" in the UK - so had no experience of m-m relationships. ) gradually his fingers moved up my thigh and he looked at me. Was I interested? I mumbled "yes" and he drove to an empty parking lot (it was a Sunday afternoon) and proceeded to jerk me off.
I have to confess that I felt both excited and guilty by all this and when I got to Amsterdam immediately went to a prostitute to "prove" my manhood. A short while after this episode I was approached in a cinema by another middle-aged man sitting next to me who kept his knee pressed firmly against mine. I didn't respond on this occasion and after the film finished rushed home for a hot bath. I felt somehow dirty.
Ok. Move on some twenty years. My wife and I got involved with a swinging circle in the area where we lived and went to a number of parties. These were great fun and I think helped me lose some of my inhibitions. At any rate on a couple of occasions (once in a threesome, and once in a group session)i had sex with another man. In fact I was bold enough to make the first move, though both of them had made obvious signs that this is what they wanted. I didn't feel dirty or guilty on these occasions. It all seemed very natural in the circumstances and nobody else was bothered.
Move on again a good few years. We dropped out of the swinging scene (worried about stds) and I had no opportunitiy to indulge myself. Then I started reading stories and visiting websites dealing with bisexuality and began to realise what I was missing. So in the last few years I have every so often found my way to the occasional sauna and sometimes adult cinemas (in London) where there has been some groping around and mutual masturbation, and twice I have had (excellent) blow jobs. I think I would like to go further (always bearing in mind the need for safe sex ) and we'll see what the new year brings.
As we drove along, chatting happily, he began patting me on the knee. I sensed what he was after and felt quite excited. (I had not attended a private boarding school - what we call a "public school" in the UK - so had no experience of m-m relationships. ) gradually his fingers moved up my thigh and he looked at me. Was I interested? I mumbled "yes" and he drove to an empty parking lot (it was a Sunday afternoon) and proceeded to jerk me off.
I have to confess that I felt both excited and guilty by all this and when I got to Amsterdam immediately went to a prostitute to "prove" my manhood. A short while after this episode I was approached in a cinema by another middle-aged man sitting next to me who kept his knee pressed firmly against mine. I didn't respond on this occasion and after the film finished rushed home for a hot bath. I felt somehow dirty.
Ok. Move on some twenty years. My wife and I got involved with a swinging circle in the area where we lived and went to a number of parties. These were great fun and I think helped me lose some of my inhibitions. At any rate on a couple of occasions (once in a threesome, and once in a group session)i had sex with another man. In fact I was bold enough to make the first move, though both of them had made obvious signs that this is what they wanted. I didn't feel dirty or guilty on these occasions. It all seemed very natural in the circumstances and nobody else was bothered.
Move on again a good few years. We dropped out of the swinging scene (worried about stds) and I had no opportunitiy to indulge myself. Then I started reading stories and visiting websites dealing with bisexuality and began to realise what I was missing. So in the last few years I have every so often found my way to the occasional sauna and sometimes adult cinemas (in London) where there has been some groping around and mutual masturbation, and twice I have had (excellent) blow jobs. I think I would like to go further (always bearing in mind the need for safe sex ) and we'll see what the new year brings.
