Wat can i say???

Few years ago i met this guy online,

we become friends and after few more months we end up into deeper relationship...and  i been happy during that months...i learn to love him...and the feelings become stronger and deeper...there were times am missing him when his so busy and we cant talk online..i feel something missing then...something important...

its not just his not always around and the fact that his too far from me...i keep waiting for his call and there were times i call him when i cant stand anymore...and there were times i cant help to feel jealous when i saw this site...i read those comments for him from his other online friends...i feel cheated but then i also realize i don't have a right in some ways...its part of his personal thing i cant interrupt the personal thing...

and then one day he called me in the phone... then i asked him about the girl name flower...then he admit that they had relationship..and the worse part was he mention that the girl come first in his life and he trust her...i feel tearing apart in that moment and confused...i feel as if he dumb me...and cheated.... 

then one day i realize that maybe his not for me..and when we talk again we fought...i told him what i really feel and i learn that am not scared to loss him and face the fact that i can survive without him...yes i learn to love him...but i also learn that i cant force the i love so i set him free...and the moment i set him free i feel alive again...and few days later he come back to ask a for second chance...that he cant live without me in his life...i gave in but the shield stay in my heart...

its not just am afraid to give him all my heart...its just i want to love him in the way i can preserve my heart as well...so if time will come he have to go again or i have to set him free AGAIN...its not so hurt anymore...