How much I love her

There's 3 of us in this love story. The love of my life (female), one of my dearest friends (male) and me (female).

The love of my life...wow. We became friends a few years ago. We started meeting up more and more because we have so much in common, so at first, when I started having feelings for her, I thought it was just a result of being able to connect with someone so well. But now, when I think of life without her, my heart aches and my head throbs. Even as I am writing this the tears are streaming down my face. Why? She's still alive and we never broke up...because we aren't together and we probably never will be.

About a year ago I nearly lost a dear friend because he developed feelings for me that I couldn't return. We've only just started meeting up again and last week, 'she' came too. They both bonded and they've started meeting up more. The deal is they went out for a short time a few years ago and they're beginning to rekindle their old feelings.

I am Bi, and so is she (though she's very closeted) but I can tell by the way she acts around me that she only sees me as a friend and I can't risk telling her about my feelings because...look what happened to me and my other friend. We can say it won't be awkward between us but that's easier said than done.

I can see her slipping away to be with another person and hearing her talk about him...and him about her...is killing me. Not in a literal sense...I would never take it that far, simply because I want to be around her as much as possible, even if we are only friends, but even so.

I love her, so, SO much. I already know that I would die for her. I want to protect her and give her everything she wants, because I know I can. She's the kind of girl who wants to be told how much she is loved, to be told she is beautiful even when she's just got out of bed and her hair is a mess, even when she is ill and has snot running down her lip. She wants a romantic and passionate relationship with stability that she can rely on no matter what. I can give her all of that and more. If only she could return my feelings.